The Compass: All in the Family (part 2)
The Compass
Charting the Course for Church Growth
All in the Family
Establish Priorities for the Family
Matthew 19:1-9
Day 1
Matthew 19:1-9 (NKJV) “Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’ And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’ He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.’”
Divorce…just the word is enough to evoke a wide range of emotions within people. Some feel as though there is never a good reason for divorce, others have decided that divorce for any reason is acceptable. The question that arises in most discussions is in truth a flawed question: What does the Bible say about divorce? The better question is this: What does the Bible say the priority ought to be for my family?
This week will focus not so much on the issue of divorce as much as the issue of establishing solid priorities for the family that may prevent the discussion of divorce ever from arising in the first place. Jesus affirms in this passage that divorce was never considered as part of God’s original plan for the family, but arose due to the hardness of the hearts of the people.
The Principle: God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman for life.
Think about the Principle: Many people reading this week’s lesson have already been through a divorce. Don’t assume that means your life for Christ has to be over. Establish priorities for your family now, and don’t worry about any past failures that hold you back. Before we begin, write down some priorities you would like for your family.
Day 2
Why does a fast paced family need priorities for life?
There are Spiritual Priorities for the Family.
Matthew 9:4 “And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’”
“For this reason…” That phrase indicates to us that God had a purpose and priorities in mind when He ordained the family.
Read the following passages and think about the priorities God wants for families: Ephesians 5:22-30, Genesis 1:26 Genesis 2:18 Genesis 26:8 I Corinthians 7:1-3
The Principle: Our families are a spiritual example to the world of Christ’s relationship with His church.
Think about the Principle: Statistics indicate that nearly 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce. With this though in mind that our families are to be a picture of Christ’s relationship to His church, what message do you think we send to the world when they see Christian marriages end in divorce?
Apply the Principle: When people look at our families, what image of Christ do they get?
Day 3
There are Scriptural Priorities for the Family
Matthew 19:3 “The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’ And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’”
In our fast paced families it is very easy for married couples to lose sight of their first responsibility: to build, shape and maintain their families. Too many times and in too many places the career has taken the place of the family, the friends have taken the place of the family, school has taken the place of the family and then we wonder why our families fall apart.
The Principle: The Scriptural priority is that the world sees Biblical principles reflected in our families.
Read the following passages and think about the Scriptural priorities God wants from our families: Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:12 Proverbs 15:1
Think about the Principle: Read Proverbs 15:1 again and consider this thought: if we spoke to our friends to the way we speak to our family members, would we have very many friends. Write some thought on why we tend to speak better to our friends than to our family.
Apply the Principle: End this day with a prayer of dedication asking God to help you in your communication you’re your family.
Day 4
There are Sacred Priorities for the Family
Matthew 19:7-9 “They said unto him, ‘Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?’ He said unto them, “Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her which is put away commits adultery.’”
Jesus brings to the surface the chief cause of divorce: the hardness of our hearts.
The Principle: So many parents have spent so much of their time building their careers that they have not built a family. They have made a living but they have not really lived.
Think about the Principle: How does a family establish priorities in their lives?
Apply the Principle: If a family wants to maintain Priorities in their lives, they really need to take three primariy steps: Commit to serve the Lord together. Rarely do you see families committed to the service of Jesus Christ end in divorce. Rearrange priorities to have a good relationship. Most problems we encounter in our lives are in truth a failure to establish and keep bood sound priorities. Friends, careers and extended family take the place of our families. Don’t dwell on past failures Many people who have been through one divorce spend the rest of their lives trying so hard not to make the same mistakes that they make new ones. Don’t try so hard to avoid past mistakes that your current family suffers because of it. What are some areas you need work on in order to have sacred priorities established for your family?
Day 5
Matthew 19:1-9 (NKJV) “Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’ And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’ He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.’”
We have talked this week about establishing priorities for the family. How do you think having priorities can you’re your family live for God and show Him to a lost world?
As I begin counseling with young families I find far too often that they enter the marriage relationship with very little understanding of how to establish priorities in their lives. Write a prayer of dedication for your families, whether you have young children or grandchildren and commit their lives to the Lord as they seek to establish Godly priorities for their families.
Lord Jesus, we admit that it is difficult to keep and establish priorities for families. It is difficult to know what to do each and every day to help those we love to come to a greater understanding of You and Your grace in their lives. Help us to seek Your will each day as we establish priorities.